


Cultural Exchange

by Jediqueer



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Crossover, Gen, Non-Sexual, Peril, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 21:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jediqueer/pseuds/Jediqueer
Summary: While Batman is out of Gotham, he asks Superman to check in for him.The Riddler's Plans are Rapidly Ruined.Vicki Vale starts to wonder if Superman exclusively saves Journalists.





	Cultural Exchange

* * *

  
  
Clark was not fond of smog.  
  
It didn't particularly affect him the way it would anyone else - no coughing, didn't obscure his vision, nothing like that. But it stank. And the smog in Gotham was distinctly... unique. Overloaded with chemical remnants, often tinting the night sky an unusual hue, and to him an overload of different, strong, but distinct scents. It made flying in Gotham... not particularly pleasant. Made him go lower than he'd have liked to when he just couldn't stand the smell anymore. But the city itself was beautiful. The polar opposite of his own home, even though Metropolis was still a stunningly beautiful city in it's own right. But where Metropolis was all new plastics, polymers and alloys, clean, bright and futuristic, Gotham was dark and old. So many of the buildings looked as though they'd been taken from another time, towering, ornate structures standing among newer projects like monoliths to the city's past, all sharp angles, sweeping curves, and with a level of artistry that was often absent from Modern buildings. Metropolis felt new, a city of the future, a beacon of what humanity was going to achieve. Gotham was a reminder of the heart where that all came from. He never found reasons to come to Gotham... but when he did, there was more he liked than he expected.  
  
He thought he should stop by more often - if not for the fact Bruce could be a little territorial.  
  
At present he was only here as a favour, just one of Batman's many contingency plans. The bat-family was occupied with some... well, _'Quintessential Bat-Family Hijinks'_ as Nightwing had so aptly put it. Something to do with the League of Shadows that Clark really thought Bruce should have brought the Justice League in on... which is why he suspected he'd asked Dick to relay him the message instead of calling himself. Like he'd thought - contingencies on contingencies. Just a quick stop off, make sure nothing big was happening, do a few quick patrols and the like. Metropolis was usually quiet, and he trusted Kara to step in for him if needs be, so he intended to stick around for longer than Bruce had necessarily wanted him to. He'd already stopped a dozen muggings. It was more than he dealt with in a week in Metropolis and the City had shown no signs that would be the end of it. He flew back and forth over the city at an easy pace, keeping his ears open for just about anything he needed to intervene in, eventually just coming to a stop over '_The Lady of Gotham_', a large statue of a woman that stood on an island in the middle of Gotham Harbour.   
"Ma'am." he said, giving an ever so slight nod. Mostly to himself. Probably not to the statue. He grinned a little... if Lois ever heard him do something so corny she'd be laughing at him for months, he'd never live it down.  
  
Clark hung in the air and waited, arms folded. Until he heard... well, something he hoped not to hear again. A crackle of electricity, and a pained scream. He turned and shot off at the speed of sound making a beeline toward it's source. Nothing? He looked harder, gazing through the buildings until he found what he was looking for. He could see a structure in one of them... ornate, electrical... neon-green. Looked like Supervillain fare to him. He stopped short a block or so and watched. Rushing in headlong was a bad idea. He'd been caught off guard a lot of times assuming he never had to be careful. Sometimes it had resulted in a faceful of Kryptonite, but more often than not the danger was to whoever he was after. He was fast enough to handle a deadman switch or a tripmine - but the possibility that he might miss something crucial and have someone else end up paying for it made him cautious. He looked again. There was a Woman in the middle of the structure strapped into what looked like an electric chair. Jesus... Gotham City, right? She was alive... but her clothes were smoking slightly and she was clearly hurt. That first shock had been... punitive, it seemed like. Meant to hurt or to scare. That made him mad... he hated seeing people with power exercise it without restraint, weak men hurting others to feel strong, small men inflicting pain to feel big. He tried to remember that his perspective could be a little... skewed, by his own abilities. It was easy to be strong and unafraid when very little could hurt you. Sometimes "Villains" were driven by compulsions they couldn't control or other factors at play they couldn't help - and someone as powerful as him couldn't afford to have a black and white mindset. Still, he could understand without needing to absolve. There was no one else in the building with her but... there were projections on the wall. A man's face. He recognized him, sort of, but Bruce had so many damn enemies that it was hard to keep track.  
  
"Where is he?! The trail was child's play this time! There's no way he could have missed it, no way he wouldn't end up here!" The man snapped. The woman... who Clark realised he sort of recognized too, was shaken and hurt but still defiant.  
"Probably... going straight for you, Eddie... Probably not playing... your stupid games..." she replied, a smirk on her face. That jogged his memory. Vicki Vale - he'd met her a few times. She was one of Lois' friends, or... rivals, or something. It was complicated. Though given the present situation Clark supposed they were definitely alike - both of them tended to get in over their heads, both of them seemed to deeply enjoy antagonizing Supervillains. Clark held off on the urge to rush in... he needed to be absolutely sure he could pull Vicki out of there without her getting hurt... but observing like this, waiting like this, always made him uneasy.  
"Impossible! There's no way he could know where I am! I've taken every precaution and - Where _IS_ HE!?" the man was growing more and more agitated. Clark felt a brief moment of recollection - this was the puzzle guy. Big ego, made deathtraps, a bit like Toyman? Good thing he hadn't just rushed in, if anyone was going to have a kill-switch in place it would be this guy. This rescue would require more than brawn, for Vicki's sake. Clark made his way to the building and looked for the entrance. The front door was rigged to blow and given the man's entire attitude - he assumed there was a hidden entrance that Bruce had been meant to go looking for. Much easier for him though. A loose brick gave way to a secret panel that opened the Wall, leaving Clark to step inside. As he did - the lights clicked off. Some sort of pressure plate beneath him - Clark observed machinery whirring in the walls and floor as he made his way through a dark corridor.  
"He's here! Finally! Okay, shut up!" the man (Puzzler? Cluemaster?) hissed. Clark came to the end of the hall and pushed open a set of large double doors. The lights flashed back on, revealing everything Clark had already seen in the room - though now he was closer and could make out the finer details he realised the room was rigged with... something. Not explosives but... ah. The concrete was thin and brittle in places. There were small concussive devices laced through the floor over a metal grid connecting to the electric chair. They could be detonated, revealing the metal, and meaning that if the Villain (Gamesman? Baffler?) activated the chair anyone in the room would be hit with the same shock as his hostage. "Welcome Batm- Wait- You aren't Batman! What are YOU doing here?" the man looked utterly mortified. Jumpy. Liable to pull whatever trigger he had. _Be smart, Clark... _This one seemed to be... delicate, eager to prove himself or his intelligence or... something. Easy to provoke into anger... which was likely why Vicki had been shocked beforehand. If he played this wrong he was liable to provoke him into a tantrum that might result in her death. For the moment, playing along was the best way to get Riddler to show his hand without having to do anything that might put Vicki at risk. Better yet... if intelligence was so important to him, beating him at his own game might very well demoralize him enough to deter him from pulling something like this for a while.  
  
"I followed your Trail here." There was a long pause.  
  
"You WHAT?" Clark was only a little offended by how surprised he sounded. Hell, even Vicki was looking at him in disbelief. That stung. Why did everyone only think he was such a big, dumb brute? "...Batman couldn't figure it out, so I put the clues together and thought I'd take you on myself. It's rare I get to face someone with such an intellect." That first part almost had him giggling to himself. Bruce was not going to be pleased if he ever found out. Maybe that was a little petty of him. The villain (Questionnaire?) was agape at all this.   
"Well... I had of course heard you were an Alien from a world much in advance to our own... I suppose it makes sense that you would be intelligent." Riddler mused. Again, Clark had to stop himself from looking irritated. "Only someone from a civilization beyond ours could hope to match intellects with I, the Riddler!" _RIDDLER_. That was the name. "So, Man of Steel, perhaps you're not just an overly-macho Brute after all! Perhaps you're even worthy of matching wits with me." Riddler declared, confidently.  
  
"Macho? ...I wouldn't say I'm Macho. Do I seem Macho to you, Miss Vale?" he said. A subtle way of checking on her, making sure she knew she wasn't being forgotten in all this... pageantry. He needed to play along, but he wanted her to know this wasn't some... battle of gods and men she was stuck in the middle of. His focus was saving her, and she deserved to be reassured. He smiled a little, giving her a look that did seem to set her at ease.  
  
"...Lois Lane says you're a boyscout." she replied, a slightly weaker smile on her face. He was glad - her heart rate was slower, she was relaxing as much as she could in this situation. But, Ouch... did everyone in Gotham think he was a Superpowered Dork?  
... at that moment he recalled his earlier 'interaction' with the statue... and realised they might have a point.  
  
"See? Boyscout. Not at all Macho." Riddler looked all the more frustrated.  
  
"Whatever you are! Hmm. Well my riddle hadn't quite accounted for someone with your powers-" That was good. It meant he could probably get Vicki to safety before Riddler triggered his trap - he just needed to make entirely sure before making his move. "-there's no way you could get her out of that chair before I could shock her hard enough to kill her. And last I checked your powers don't include reviving the dead." Riddler raised his hand, holding up a cylindrical device with a button on it's top, which Riddler's thumb hovered over. Clark frowned, feigning worry, but... the situation was now definitely in hand. For a self professed genius, Riddler was very quick to expose his weaknesses. He'd need to be quick, but... it was a question of him moving around five meters faster than Riddler could lower his thumb. Given that he could move about a dozen times that distance in the time a hummingbird takes to beat it's wing, he was no longer particularly concerned. Now it was just a matter of finding the villain himself. Clark listened. He tried to follow Riddler's voice to it's source, sorting through the ambient noise of Gotham in his mind, moving past traffic, conversations... until her could hear Riddler clearly. He turned his gaze toward the sound, looking, searching, until he found the source. A basement in East Gotham. There he was. "Now, Superman - What is-"  
  
Clark didn't let him finish. He moved to the chair and unbuckled each of the restraints holding Vicki down. At the speed he was going the world seemed to be standing still, the projection turning into a still image - but he still needed to do this cautiously. If he just snapped the restraints, pieces of them would snap off or break almost as fast as he was going at present. A tiny piece of metal buckle would be like a bullet at this velocity. As he removed the straps, he eased Vicki to a standing position. He took so much care with her it was as though she were made of glass. He cradled her head and her hips, holding her secure so she didn't end up with whiplash - and then he set her down a few feet from the chair. He glanced across the room until he found the receiver for Riddler's device, focusing his gaze into a short burst of light. It shot through the concrete and melted the receiver. Riddler had no way to trigger the traps in the room, Vicki was up and safe, things were now in hand... and he could afford to mess with him a little. "- it that when - WHAT?!" Riddler stood up, knocking whatever camera he was projecting from over and scrambling to pick it up. Vicki blinked, stunned. That... tended to happen the first time most people saw or... experienced his powers. Riddler clicked at his device repeatedly, but nothing happened. His face turned red and he looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. "You... You cheated! That isn't fair, that's not-"  
"Ask the riddle." Clark said... a little smile on his face.  
  
"WHAT?!" Vicki and Riddler said in unison.  
  
"Ask the Riddle. If you stump me, I'll leave you for Batman to deal with tomorrow - but, obviously, Miss Vale still comes with me." he said, looking down when he felt her tense a little. He realised he probably should have made that clear right away - he wasn't going to leave her with Riddler for another day under any circumstances. But... if he played this little game, made Riddler lose confidence, he might surrender easier and avoid hurting himself. He might be put off from pulling anything like this for longer if he felt truly beaten and not just caught. And... well. Boyscout or no, Clark _was _going to arrest him tonight."If I solve it, I come to the Basement you're hiding in and you surrender. Sound fair?" he asked. Riddler looked... completely baffled.  
"That's not - Batman never asked if I..."  
"Come on. Bet I won't get it." Clark said. He wasn't sure who looked more puzzled, Vicki or the Riddler.  
"...Alright..? What... What is it that given one, you'll have either two or none?" he said. Clark noticed that he adopted just a hint of a sing-song tone when asking the question, seemingly by reflex. Oddly sweet, like a children's TV game show host... if he weren't so... psychotic. Clark scratched his chin. He knew this one. He was sure he knew this one.  
"Hmm. Is it... a Choice?" he asked. The crestfallen look on Riddler's face told him he was correct. It was a little unfair. Pa loved brainteasers like that. Half of Clark's childhood had been the old man asking him Riddles and gags like that.   
"That's... it is that, yes." Riddler said. "...But-but the riddle was only the first part!" he said, indignantly. "The actual challenge is the puzzle!" he said. Riddler pressed a button, and a remote on a cord dropped from the ceiling, with two buttons on it. "You have to choose between one of these buttons! One activates the electric chair, the other deactivates it, and you have to-"  
  
"No it doesn't." Clark interrupted. "One of those buttons activates the chair. The other activates the Chair _and_ the grid you have hidden under the floor. It sounds like you were going to cheat to win no matter what, Riddler. That's not very sporting of you. If you were as smart as you claim to be... don't you think you wouldn't _have_ to cheat?" Riddler was stunned into silence, looking utterly deflated. Serve him right, frankly. "Be seeing you in just a little while. Don't go anywhere - it won't help." he warned. Not quite threatening... honestly, he found it hard to be convincingly threatening, whenever he tried he got too self conscious about scaring people and almost immediately ended up backing down. The projector just... clicked off. Clark glanced back toward Riddler's hideout, seeing him sit and stare at the wall and, well, forcing himself not to laugh. Vicki looked almost as thoroughly gobsmacked. "Miss Vale, you have a few minor burns on your arms and legs, so I'm going to take you to the nearest hospital. Is that Alright?"  
"I... I..." she stammered. He worried she was in shock - thought it would be understandable if she were. "What the fuck was that?!" she exclaimed. Not angry, just... baffled. And sort of ...elated? Probably an adrenaline rush, possibly shock... another small reminded that he needed to get better at recognizing this sort of thing, maybe take a course on Nursing or First Aid or something. "Jesus... I feel like I just jumped out of a plane! You... I think you broke him." she laughed - a single, sharp exclamation, almost like a bark of a laugh as she stared up at him.  
"I'm uh, not just a pretty face, Ms Vale." He replied with a pleasant smile. She let out another sharp, short laugh.  
"Oh my god. I have to say I was not expecting that. I was not expecting you to be like... this, or... any of whatever the hell just happened. I mean just when I thought Gotham couldn't surprise me anymore, you show up and... utterly blow Nygma's mind."  
  
"Nygma?"  
  
"Yeah, you know. Riddler. Edward Nygma."  
  
"His name is... E. Nygma."  
  
"Yup." she said, as though it were the most normal thing in the world.  
  
"...Ms Vale I hope you don't mind me saying but your city is ridiculous."   
  
"Tell me about it. And please, stop calling me Ms Vale. You saved my life, you get to call me Vicki. Or I'll have to start calling you Mr Man." She chuckled at him, wiping a few stray strands of hair off of her face. Her hands were shaking, but she put them in her pocket - seemingly didn't want him to see, so he didn't call attention to it. "Lois did warn me you were a bit of a boy scout."   
"You mentioned that earlier, Ms - Vicki." he corrected himself. Gee, maybe he was a Boyscout?  
"Right, right, sorry. Little rude of me. I think I'm uh... you know. A little... you know." she said.   
  
"That's why I'm going to take you to the hospital. Just to be safe."  
  
"Pfft, definitely a boyscout."  
  
Clark smiled, sheepishly. He could live with that. Didn't mean he wouldn't be just the tiniest bit petty, however. "Oh by the way. This can be a little disorienting if you've never done it before, but trust me. You won't fall."  
"What do you mean I won't faaaAAAAALLL!!?" Vicki yelled, as Clark put his arm around her waist and took her hand, flying out of the building and then upwards, before setting off toward the Hospital. Vicki took a few deep breaths, but hung onto him for dear life. There was no danger of his grip breaking but, he found most people reacted like this the first time they flew together. The only ones who hadn't were Bruce and Lois, Bruce because of... his entire deal, and Lois because she'd been much to excited to worry about falling. "You giant Blue Asshole!" she snapped, and he blinked, looking at her.  
"I'm sorry?"  
"You can't just... take off like that! You nearly scared me to death!"   
"Well... you did call me a Boyscout quite a few times. And I did say I wouldn't let you fall." He grinned. Vicki looked annoyed for a few seconds more until she started to smile back, looking away before she let him see her grinning to herself.   
"Asshole." she muttered... though judging by her tone she wasn't genuinely mad anymore. There were a few moments of quiet and he could tell Vicki was starting to relax, starting to enjoy the experience - though she wasn't going to be overt about admitting it. "So I've got a few questions." She said.  
"Shoot."  
"Well the first, obvious one, is what are you doing here?" She asked.  
"Batman's occupied outside of the city. He wanted me to check in." He replied.  
"Glad you did." she said, letting out a slightly shaky breath. The reality of what had just happened to her seemed to be starting to sink in - though she was a little less manic than before, as well. "Okay, Next question - why are we going so slow? Couldn't you just super-speed us over there?"  
"Ah - no. If we go past a certain speed it would be... unpleasant for you. I don't have the same abilities when it comes to extending protection at high speeds as, say, the Flash does." he Explained.  
"So there are some things you can't do?" she said, almost immediately. That was the reporter coming out. He could tell - Lois pulled it on him all the time before he'd told her who he really was.  
"There are plenty of things I can't do." He replied, giving a little smile. "ICan't play the Piano, either." Vicki rolled her eyes.  
"You know, Lois said you were corny, too." She said, sparing a few glances at the city below. Still trying to hide her enjoyment. "Last question... probably. Do you exclusively go around saving female reporters?" she asked in a teasing tone.  
"Of course not. I have a soft spot for Photographers, too."

Clark set down just outside the Elliott Memorial Hospital, putting Vicki back down on her feet. "Are you going to be alright, Vicki?" he asked.  
"I think so. You going to stick around Gotham for long?" she smiled.  
"No, just tonight."  
"Pity. Well... thanks, Superman. Go kick Riddler's ass back into Arkham. And... say hi to Lois for me." She grinned, turning with a little wave and walking through the hospital doors. Clark spared a little smile. He could see why she and Lois butted heads so frequently - they were very similar, and he bet neither of them would ever admit it. He glanced back toward the Riddler's hiding spot... noting that the man seemed to be shoving papers or... blueprints or something into a Duffel bag... and had kicked most of his computers and the like around. Clark took off again, no longer needing to slow his pace.   
  
He appeared behind Nygma with a rush of air that blew the papers around his hideout - and simply cleared his throat. The wiry man turned, looked up at him in horror, and then let out a defeated little whine.   
"You're going to punch me out, aren't you?"   
"No... I'm just not going to slow down for you." Clark replied with a slightly devillish grin.  
"Wh-what do you mean slow do-" Before he could finish, Clark had him by the scruff of the neck and flew off to the nearest police station, depositing Riddler in the lobby along with his bag of plans. The surrounding members of the GCPD were startled, while Riddler's face was transfixed in shocked surprise. "B--bwuh- wh-what- wh-where-"  
"Officers, I believe this man ought to be in your custody?" Clark asked, as one of the detectives seemed to get their barings enough to appraise the situation, approach him, and put Riddler in cuffs.   
"Hah, yeah... thanks, Superman. Not gonna look a gift-cape in the Mouth but... mind if I ask what you're doin' in Gotham. Ain't you usually on the Metropolis beat?" She asked. Everyone in the room was staring - a couple of people had pulled out phones and were taking videos - Riddler still seemed like his brain was still trying to catch up with his body.  
"Well I'm filling in for a friend. Oh - Ms Vicki Vale is currently at Elliot Memorial hospital, she might want to give a statement later." He added. He gave a few waves to the various folks intrigued by his presence. "Evening." He smiled, warmly.   
"...Dang, you're way politer than the bat." The Officer said with a little chuckle as she handed Riddler over to a colleague. The officer began leading Riddler toward the holding Cells, the man finally seeming to realize where he was and starting to protest, irritably, something along the lines of Superpowers being cheating. Clark shook his head with a little sigh, while the Officer took his moment of distraction to approach him in the same cautious manner one approaches a wild animal. He looked at her and she froze, sheepishly smiling. "Uh, hey. Long as you're here... My kid sister's a pretty big fan, so... you mind if I get a picture before you go?"  
  
A minutes and several selfies later, Superman exited back to a stationary position over Gotham. It had certainly been an exciting night... though he hoped that would be the end of it. Still, the whole thing made for a pretty interesting Cultural Exchange.


End file.
